Burger Queen
Inspired by Michael Procopio's* post over on Bay Area Bites about his own foodie-challenged childhood and his current endeavors at creating fries and a shake, I'm going to recount my years as a frequent Burger King diner (gasp!).
*I used my cyberstalker skills to track down his other blog, but sadly, it has nothing on it right now. I did find a soulfully depressed European Existentialist picture of him on his blogger profile, though.
YUM! Has someone thought about compiling a Hot Foodies calendar? If not, then YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS! Speaking of which, I am eternally grateful to Urse for pointing me to this picture and interview with Fred Schilling of Dagoba. Here he is, surrounded by Mason jars full of beans (Cacao beans and Mason Jars - can you get any foodier?):
I'd like to wrap my foil around his chocolate bar.
Also on this list would be Gabriel Roth, who writes Edible Complex for the SF Bay Guardian. I can't find a good photo of him on the internets, in part because there is a musician named Gabrielle Roth who is sucking up all the google hits. Good for her, though. You'll have to take my word for it.
Actually, of all the people in this post, Gabriel Roth is the only one I've seen in real life, and so his hotness-reliability-index is the highest of the lot. For me, anyway. What is hotness-reliability, you ask? It's the quality of being and staying hot from all angles and over periods of time, not just after a team of make-up artists and photographers have worked you (or after taking 45 different pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror and finding the one where your stomach looks naturally flat, and not like you're sucking it in, which you totally are). If you've seen tabloid pictures of the New Britney Spears, you know what I mean.
Ilan Hall, one of the contestants on Top Chef, should be in the Calendar also. His look has sort of a hipster-meets... umm... well, okay, fine, he just looks like a hipster. No photo of him on here, just in case we get sued by Bravo. I think he's going to win. He's basically a revamped Harold. Oh hell, here's his photo, clearly cribbed from the Top Chef site. FAIR USE, I say, FAIR USE:
Okay, that was supposed to be an aside, but it's turned into a whole post. Maybe I'll talk about my childhood in Burger King another time. Actually, you know what, I can sum it up in a few sentences: I was a kid with thousands of years of Imperial Chinese cuisine as my ethnic heritage, growing up in Southeast Asia, where three or four of the world's best cuisines came together in a syncretic miracle of deliciousness, and all I could think to eat almost every other weekday for lunch was a Double Bacon Cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, in the sticky-floored, poorly-ventilated basement level Burger King that was closest to the D&D bookstore. Also I was fat.
Ooh, ooh, here's the link: sometimes when I read other food blogs or watch TV and see talented, good-looking foodies and food-writers, I am once again the fat kid eating bad burgers and dreaming about being (or screwing) a paladin.
Oh, another aside: I recently heard somewhere, or maybe I read (damn it! I can't remember where now) someone describe another person as "the kind of guy who derives additional pleasure from eating meat because he can make fun of vegetarians." Sadly, Gabriel Roth seems to fall into this category (I'm not saying the column ain't funny though). Then again, so does Anthony Bourdain.
*I used my cyberstalker skills to track down his other blog, but sadly, it has nothing on it right now. I did find a soulfully depressed European Existentialist picture of him on his blogger profile, though.
YUM! Has someone thought about compiling a Hot Foodies calendar? If not, then YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS! Speaking of which, I am eternally grateful to Urse for pointing me to this picture and interview with Fred Schilling of Dagoba. Here he is, surrounded by Mason jars full of beans (Cacao beans and Mason Jars - can you get any foodier?):
I'd like to wrap my foil around his chocolate bar.
Also on this list would be Gabriel Roth, who writes Edible Complex for the SF Bay Guardian. I can't find a good photo of him on the internets, in part because there is a musician named Gabrielle Roth who is sucking up all the google hits. Good for her, though. You'll have to take my word for it.
Actually, of all the people in this post, Gabriel Roth is the only one I've seen in real life, and so his hotness-reliability-index is the highest of the lot. For me, anyway. What is hotness-reliability, you ask? It's the quality of being and staying hot from all angles and over periods of time, not just after a team of make-up artists and photographers have worked you (or after taking 45 different pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror and finding the one where your stomach looks naturally flat, and not like you're sucking it in, which you totally are). If you've seen tabloid pictures of the New Britney Spears, you know what I mean.
Ilan Hall, one of the contestants on Top Chef, should be in the Calendar also. His look has sort of a hipster-meets... umm... well, okay, fine, he just looks like a hipster. No photo of him on here, just in case we get sued by Bravo. I think he's going to win. He's basically a revamped Harold. Oh hell, here's his photo, clearly cribbed from the Top Chef site. FAIR USE, I say, FAIR USE:
Okay, that was supposed to be an aside, but it's turned into a whole post. Maybe I'll talk about my childhood in Burger King another time. Actually, you know what, I can sum it up in a few sentences: I was a kid with thousands of years of Imperial Chinese cuisine as my ethnic heritage, growing up in Southeast Asia, where three or four of the world's best cuisines came together in a syncretic miracle of deliciousness, and all I could think to eat almost every other weekday for lunch was a Double Bacon Cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, in the sticky-floored, poorly-ventilated basement level Burger King that was closest to the D&D bookstore. Also I was fat.
Ooh, ooh, here's the link: sometimes when I read other food blogs or watch TV and see talented, good-looking foodies and food-writers, I am once again the fat kid eating bad burgers and dreaming about being (or screwing) a paladin.
Oh, another aside: I recently heard somewhere, or maybe I read (damn it! I can't remember where now) someone describe another person as "the kind of guy who derives additional pleasure from eating meat because he can make fun of vegetarians." Sadly, Gabriel Roth seems to fall into this category (I'm not saying the column ain't funny though). Then again, so does Anthony Bourdain.
posted by manoverbored at 2:30 AM
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